It's been a while...

I just had a glass of wine while studying for my Concepts of God final on Monday and watching Community.

Probably not a good mix of activities but oh well.

On Monday afternoon I will be officially done with all school related responsibilities. I've taken two finals and I have one more Monday morning plus a paper due Monday afternoon. Then FREEDOM.

I can't say I'm done-done Monday, though, because I think I'm going to do my dual cross-country flight on Tuesday.

But after that! Then I'll pack everything up and move it to my car to be ready to head back to F'ville. I'll pack everything but my computer and my bedding and some essentials. I'll lay in bed and look at my completely bare room and let all sorts of emotions overcome me as I realize that I'm about to leave Hendrix forever.

I'm anxious to see what the predominate emotion will be...

Right now it hasn't hit me. I still have a lot to do, so I'm focusing one day at a time. But a week from now I'll be done with college forever. I will be a college graduate and I will be in limbo between huge chapters of my life.

The next step is to move to San Diego.

I'm so fucking excited. I feel really, really good about the way things are going with Clint and I. Our relationship has progressed in an extremely positive way in the past few months. We adore each other, and it increases daily.

The long distance thing has been really positive for our relationship, I think. We never Skype, so our main source of communication is the phone. That has really allowed us to develop a very strong friendship and a deep intellectual bond. We can talk about anything and everything, and we do. We are both passionate about politics, so we have a lot of long, intense conversations about the world and this country and what it all means. He listens to me and respects my opinions and apparently the first thing he tells people that he likes about me is the fact that I'm able to talk to him about things like politics; the fact that even though we disagree on a few things, I am still able to debate my points and have enough of an opinion to support my arguments. He says his political position has strengthened tremendously because of our talks. And mine has, as well. It's been a very mutually beneficial relationship.

And physically everything is better than I could ask for as well. We are both extremely attracted to each other and fit perfectly together. The chemistry is wonderful and the sex is amazing and the way he looks at me makes me heart beat faster and the way he touches me gives me chills.

I'm very, very happy. We haven't had any issues in at least a month, and that's been really great. He trusts me a lot more now than he used to, and the fact that I'm going out there soon will eliminate any cause of anxiety and uncertainty and suspicion, I think. I trust him more than I've trusted anyone. The one thing about Clint is that he's extremely genuine. He's very honest. Sometimes brutally so, but he's also very caring and very considerate. He may have been a dick a couple of times, but he has apologized for it and we are have been able to talk about it and move past it together.

I worry, still. It's worked so well despite the fact that we've been long distance our entire relationship (minus monthly visits), so is there a possibility that we may only work if we have that amount of separation between us?? I suppose it's a possibility... That we do great together in this kind of relationship but we'll come to find out that living together is impossible. Who knows. But we are both willing to find out.
And honestly, I'm not sure that will be the case. When we have lived together, during my visits, it's been great.

It's going to take some getting used to, no doubt. I don't expect it to be easy. I think we will both learn a lot about each other and ourselves through this experience. Granted, Clint lived with a girlfriend for about 4 years so he's been through it before (which is comforting to me) but still, the dynamic will be very different.

The thing he wants the most out of a partner is someone who wants to continually strive to be a better person. His relationship with his last girlfriend was kind of self destructive for both of them, and I know he's worried about getting into that kind of pattern again. And I worry because I have no idea what I'm like in a relationship like that. But he's willing to work at it and I'm willing to work at it and I think that's all we can ask for at this point.

The other day he told me that what he wants most in life is to make me rich and make me orgasm. What girl doesn't want to hear that??

(His job involves helping people make money through investments and so forth, and he's extremely passionate about the stock market and has a true talent for it and expects to make a lot of money investing in stocks, so that's where the making me rich part comes in.)

Anyway, I'm very happy.

I still worry that it's too good to be true or that something will happen that will make the whole thing come crashing down, but considering all the shit we've been through, I have a feeling that we just might be okay. God knows I'm done cheating and lying and all of that, so unless we just find out that we don't work (which happens and which would not at all be the end of the world if that were the case), this may last a long time.

It's nearly 2 am and I have a lot of studying to do tomorrow. I should end this, but I'll be back to talk about the non-Clint issues in my life soon. Hopefully.